Oh Sir! The Insult Simulator | Best Apps and Games 13 May,2019

Oh Sir! The Insult Simulator

The parrot is back from the dead bringing countless new insults for your disposal, Sir! Remember that silly game that parted lovers, destroyed families and turned friends into enemies? Here’s its successor that does even more, certainly with more style and more variety. And I have proof! This time you can spread affront to everyone in the world that has Internet access or – if you’re not the most sociable – you can sit alone and play with yourself. Nudge nudge.

So don’t let the parrot die for nothing and tell that grumpy old lady that her husband donated organs for a strange woman lying in a pond and that her sister poses nude for some dog. Then meet a retired hipster who admires pictures of a grunting sow, and a fake Russian who borrowed a dead body to put his teacup and crumpets on. It’s also the only game that lets you learn what’s The Meaning of Life, and that’s scientifically proven!

"Oh… Sir!’ is our favorite insult-em-up"


– Aaron Souppouris, Engadget –

"Playing in local multiplayer mode made me laugh more in five minutes than most games manage over an entire campaign."
– Oscar Dayus, Pocket Gamer –

Game Features:

Loner’s Insult Tournament Mode:Battle your way through numerous unique situations and verbally assault your CPU

Real-Life Friends Mode: Duel against your actual friends on a couch, ottoman, or whatever else you like to rest your fanny on

Imaginary-Friends Mode: Verbally take down strangers from all over the world online, and bring the witty pain across any device using the game’s Cross-Platform Multiplayer

5 Hilarious Playable Characters: Each with their own unique voices, quirky traits and hilarious “insult bits”

4 Conflict Scenarios: Lay down some verbal jujitsu across 4 different testy situations and dynamic environments

Contentious Battle System: Employ combos, criticals, continuations and other new mechanics to outwit your argumentative opponents!

*** Without this update you will not be able to play multiplayer games against players who have installed it ***

Dear illustrious Ladies and Gentlemen,

We would just like to inform you that we’ve been listening to your many requests and beautifully worded suggestions, and we’re giddy like school boys to bring you the biggest update for the game yet.

The biggest headline feature is that we’re incredibly proud to announce that we’ve added one of the most requested distinguished gentleman into the verbal battle arena. This legendary fine fellow requires no introduction, as he’s been saving our planet from vile alien creatures since most of us were still holding on to our mother’s pants leg. So please welcome the one-and-only, Sam “Serious” Stone!!! He’s not here to dilly-dally around and comes packing a whole arsenal of new devastating verbal weapons of mass destruction!

Besides the inclusion of Serious Sam, this update also introduces the following key improvements to the game and its multiplayer mode:
•New Guest Character: Sam “Serious” Stone – Can you figure out how to unlock him?
•Important! This version is NOT compatible with the previous one in the online multiplayer mode: The bad news is you won’t be able to play with your slower friends, but the good news is that you won’t be playing with pirates neither (for a while…) So in order to play with all available players online, make sure you install this update
•Requested multiplayer scoring changes: disconnecting now counts as escaping, which constitutes a win for the opposing player.
•Multiplayer score changes are now saved after one of the players wins, but before the final dialogue (so you are free to disconnect during the dialogue)
•Bigger penalties if a player delays making their move for more than 15 seconds, several times in a row

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iMac '24

•Small tweaks in how the insults are spoken (they should sound a tiny bit more natural)
•Additional minor scoring changes

Steve Jobs

•Fixed some typos: thanks to gentlemen in our community for rightfully reporting these unacceptable violations of the Queen’s English!

Please do not scurry too far away after installing this update though, as we have a lot more exciting surprises planned for the game. To this end, know that we’re keeping track of all guest character suggestions being put forward in the forums, so please keep these coming. We have more famous new faces lined up to join the verbal arena, so keep your eyes glued to your digital windows … you never know what other new surprises the dead parrot might bring you!

Thank you very much again for all of your venerable support!

The Vile Monarch

© Vile Monarch